Its even funnier that I continued my Astarion run, I remember seeing this meme where it was a spectrum one end had Astarion and on the other end was Wyll. On Wyll's end it was labeled "Completely fine, normal, sensible" and then on Astarion's end it was labeled "Ohh, child, you need therapy" (Gale was placed in the middle of the spectrum, btw), which I guess tracks since I started that run when I was trying to come down from my panic attacks, lol.

I've been stuck in Act one for a good min, by I mean a min I mean like MONTHS bro, and that was because I was thinking that there was a diplomatic way to have the goblins and druids come to somewhat  of an understanding, because I like both the goblins and the druids, but then I realized no there is no diplomacy---basically like:

Yeah, its like that, but the goblin did not offer an negotiation.

So in my Shadowheart run, the party is now trying to take down the last goblin leader, I just found Halsin, which in the context of the clip above (this is gonna sound MEGA COLOSSAL TITAN LEVELS of cringe, but !) is rainbow dash, yeah sounds like cringe if you didn't look at the clip, (context is a beautiful thing.)

In my Astarion  run, The party just got done with taking down Kagha and on are their way to Blighted Village. My main character, Allium finally got Astarion's attention, which happened quicker than I thought because I always pinned him as like a tsudere type,  hard on the outside but a total softie on the inside type of beat, (not like the BG3 aren't complex peeps, far from it, but I like using cringe weeboo terms so...). So I thought that would take FOR.EVA.ER at get the vamp homie but no, Shadowheart's attention took forever to get, or at least it took forever for me to select the choice that opens her up to a relationship with Allium. I pin Shadowheart as more of a Kuudere, a character whose aloof and distance, like Yuki Nagato from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (another cringe comparison, but is it really cringe when you mention a legend like Haruhi? ), but thinking about it using my own weeb logic, since WHEN has a kuudere been as bombastic with they want as a tsudere---nope never happen.

I got the Sussur bark, the bark that makes items magical when you forge them in the furnace, and forged some magical stuff both for Gale and just to upgrade some weapons in general for the rest of the party , after that I was dumbstruck and ended up just wandering aimlessly through the Underdark.

Now why I did not just go ahead and rescue Halsin like the game kept suggesting me to....

SIMPLE, I had half a mind--to be topical, I had like a -5 wisdom debuff when I rolled for a wisdom check for a while, lol. I think under my hindered reasoning, I felt like rescuing Halsin was like an END OF CHAPTER thing and I didn't really feel like I had reached the end of act one, but with BG3 I don't think there is really an END OF CHAPTER deal, since the game is super open world and non-linear.

But when I finally decided to rescue Halsin in my ShadowHeart run, and old boy mentioned some suss stuff going on in the Underdark near the moon tower, I was like:

"AH HA! that's why I needed to go to the Underdark for!" (Yes I literally pointed to the screen like that with a spiced cola in my hand)

So, now I'm good I know where to go, HUZZAH! and now that Allium has gotten some interaction with Halsin, yeah old boy is worth fighting a bunch of goblins for (I am WEAK for a big man that like nature-- or more like I'm tenderly curious about a big man that likes nature ). BG3 kind of got me to question (at least in passing) that if I'm a fictosexual, someone who is only attracted to fictional beings, and I thought about it for a min, then I was like..no. I mean I have some homies that are and follow some peeps on social that are, and I love when they gush about their husbandos, waifus, and fictional others, but nah that's not me. To quote Nick from Great Gatbsy (look a reference that's not cringe, would you look at that) “I wasn't actually in love, but I felt a sort of tender curiosity.” I think I'm just tenderly curious when it comes to characters, I  know that the quote is supposed to hint at Nick being interested in Jordan, and he's trying to go about in a realistic sense opposite to Gabtsy's bombastic infatuation with Daisy. But I do think its a tender curiosity, and not like an Eddy Money "Take Me Home Tonight" situation. I may joke like I did with the header image, but its just vibes and jokes...

It was actually my tender curiosity that got me to play the game again, or at least think about it again. You see, I don't really lose interest in stuff I've had interest in before in the past, my interest just goes into sleep mode like a computer, but if I come across an idea that makes me think of said interest then it sparks up again. If I continue to feed into that interest that its back like it never left. I only lose interest if I actively like "BEGONE THOUGHT!" and starve the interest until it dies off (so I guess its like a plant)..

So what feed my interest in BG3 was reading a bunch of head canons, which are like personal takes/theories a fan has about a certain character,  and fics about the party members. I usually don't read fics from pieces of media I haven't interacted with myself, or have any personal stake in (unless I'm doing it for the lulz OR OR I like how a certain fanfic writer writes, and I'll read anything they churn out). None of the fics I read get that dirty either, at most they don't go pass a lime on the citrus scale , which in normal peep terms means it doesn't go pass a pg-13 rating.

All the Bg3 party members are WELL WELLL WELLL over 18 but I'm just not interested in learning how well they are in bed (especially when the game answer that question like YO, ITS RIGHT THERE!), it's just not the vibe for me. I am interested in learning pretty frivolous stuff about them tho' like what kind of flowers do they like, what do they think of bards, or what would they be like as parents.

If I really like a headcanon, I add onto in my own way through a fic or even my own headcanon list. Like I really like the headcanon of Shadowheart and Astarion being besties, its a common headcanon most peeps have, I like to think that Astartion and Shadowheart were low-key friends when they first crash on the beach. I feel like later when the party reaches the Underdark, like the kind of scary dark and moody underground that they really click and become high-key friends, like they gossip with each other, have a bad pick-line contest, or lounge near each other tent for no reason other than vibes. It those really cute and kind of goofy/unserious theories I live for.

I was listening to Do you like X Resonance (specially the one where it plays in a bathroom at a party), Resonance really helped me calm me down when I felt like an panic attack was coming on. The bathroom version played quiet enough for me to focus reading on the fic, and now I think about BG3 when I hear Resonance. It makes since to me because in my mind I always associate DnD with 80/90s nostalgia, and vaporwave (as a aesthetic and music genre) is all about 90/80 nostalgia, so imo its a no-brainer. Resonance is about going home/missing home (a.k.a nostalgia) , and the whole of BG3 besides getting the tadpole problem solved is about going back home to Baldur's Gate . Its to the point where I want to make BG3 edits using different versions of Resonance, since they all want to go home but have different thing waiting for them back home ( if that makes any sense, lol).

Like for Astarion, I wanted to use the revesred beat verison of Resoance, a brighter future (the title makes SO MUCH sense espically if its able to overcome his tormentor) and I was going to use the origial Resoance track for Wyll, since I think Wyll and Astarion are kind of similar; both have a gentlemanly air to them, one more honest than other, and they both have a sense of mischief, one gives into that feeling more than other.

Oh, I've been annotating  fics, since I dont have the guts to annotate real life book without fear of soiling the text. Annoating fics helps me really think about what I like about certain fic specfically, and point out elements that I would like to add in my own fics and even original stories.  Part of me thought the idea was kind of dumb, but then I really got into and now I have whole list of fanfics I want to breakdown for my own curisoity.

Hmm, I think that's all I got to say about my current BG3 hyperfixation or semi-rewoken hyperfixation. I may talk more about this or BG3 stuff in general in a later post...maybe.

Idk...

Anyways

Later days~