AYE! Look at that I finally made  a decent title for this post unlike the last one, I wanna continue to make more post like this because it just fun and good way for me to keep up with all the games I should be play (because keep myself from doing stuff I like could lead to a becoming mental illness init? or at least it just messes with my head..Oof),  I should note the some of these post might be a little OOF since my memory's itself is OOF espically if I dont type what's happening and my thoughts on it while I'm playing the game(which is what happened in this post OOF), so keep that in mind....anyways without farther ado...

Back at it again with the golden deer! Where we last left off I think Steth's little sister, Flayn got kidnapped, and it was my job for the month to find her. I had to go around and ask all of the students and faculity if they saw anything sus, most of them said they didn't see anything, or they were just worried sick about Flayn's safety, some them suspected the adults had something to do with it, more specifically Jeritza, the masked man that lurks about the monastery. I always though the dude was kind of weird but in a harmless, cute kind of stora way, I never really thought that his strangeness had ill motivate.

I found it really enduring how much  Steth was worried for Flayn, I always though his character was kind of uptight and mean, and it was weird how he was related to someone as nice, and friendly as Flayn. I kind of thought he was being a little bit to her before, but now I see that he was just try to protect her because he cares about her so much. I spent part of my free time (once I got all of that investgation out the way) trying up my stats and relationship level with Bernadette, she's reallly cute and I want her on my team SOOO BAD like its just UGH, but everytime I ask she just doesn't seem interested. So, I spent some free time leveling up my strength and Bow level---Well, mostly my bow since my strength was actually pretty good, So I took some training from Shamir and Professor Harriman I mean Hanneman to increase that stat and I just bumbared Bernie (I love the she refers to herself as BERNIE that's adorable) during her personal time sharing a meal with her (and Leonie ) and spending some cooking time with her.

So, yeah like title says I've finally went and "finished" my neocities site, and by finished I mean have more than 2 pages presentable pages on my site ( not counting the landing and enter page). I was being WAAAAY to ambitous with my previous site layout, so I kept with the simple theme I said I was going to on my second try. I was really trying to keep within the retro/vintage late 90s/early 00's webpage vibes, tbh I have no idea WHAT  I was going for last time with my previous layout--an digital city trapped in a computer--type--thing, IDK I think I was just really influenced by the one site on neocities that basically a working windows 95 OS. It was really fun to code my own neocities site,(well duh if it wasn't I would be making this post about it ) but I feel like that just needed to be said, at first I thought my site was going to suck, especially since that my first site layout didnt turn out well as I thought. After browsing some old geocities and personal sites from back in the day (via the wayback) and also browsing the sites on neocities, I finally got a good idea for what I wanted for my site which is basically just pink, glitters, gifs, patterns, and anime girls, I decided to just to have fun with it instead of trying to make something big and  impressive to show off and that's what I did and if you wanna the check it out the link is here: OOOF!

Anyways other than old web stuff, I've finally gotten my hands on some polymer clay (which hard to find online during these trying times, especially since I know there's some nice fancy polymer clay just sitting in someone's closet when they said they were going to spend their time in quarantine CrEaTiVeLy!  !OOF!....sorry I'm just being salty, but I've FINALLY got some Sulptuly  polymer clay, I''ve been thinking about making some miniature food. Yeah, it's kind of random but it's a interest I've had since I was young, I played around with polymer clay when I was younger, but since I couldn't use the oven, most of my creations didn't last long. But now, that I've got a toaster oven and have used it for a while to know how it works,  I can finally make some stuff I can keep! YEET! the only thing is that I don't have the real fancy supplies like the glaze stuff or the liquid clay. I'm guessing I could just make a glue mixture or see if I have any baby oil (or any other oily substances). There's one polymer clay ideas I have in mind from an old youtube channel, I followed all time ago when I first start polymer clay....

And here's another for a pizza idea I found while looking for the the other channel above:

I also LOVE the idea that people make little printouts of boxes of fast food, cereal, and general food boxes for miniatures, I find that idea so neat and I'm glad I finally have an excuse to use them...OH! and I also found a minitaure printable site that's ON Neocities! (what are the odds! that place just gets cooler and cooler the more I explore) : Doll Printies

Stuff like this makes me wish I kept one of my old dollhouse just to  have a place for all my miniatures  but I guess I could use the popin' cooking boxes like I did with the washi tape. I do have some old mini La La Loopsies dolls and they come with mini furniture, along with some LOL-dolls, and I do have a bag full of misc. miniatures, and I could make some scenes out of boxes (but I could only use a few since I don't have that much space). It sounds like a hodge podge but it could work., I'm hoping to make my own custom Nandaroid someday, but only time will tell...

Okay, this is my first game blog-thing, I think I'm going to start blogging about the games I play because when I really like something I usually want to interact with it a little bit a deeper level, plus I like talking about stuff I like, plus plus I've been going into to weird bouts where get really anxious about enjoying the stuff I like (i.e games, art, anime, cartoons, books, food) and it makes me feel bad and want to do nothing but stay in bed and watch depressing youtube vids, but I'm trying to get over that by doing stuff like this (which I hope I can keep up with.heheheh..heh..heh hopefully) anyways without futher ado here I go....

Fire emblem Three houses...yeah I dont if I should like introduce the game, if you've been on the web for a while especially in the last few years in the gaming sphere you already know what it is, I've played the last two Fire Emblem games and they were fun, so I decided to play this because I thought claude was really cute because I liked the other games in series so might as well continue.  I'm like a quarter into this game (I'm on the 8th month) but I haven't played it in like two months, the last thing remember story wise I got the big ghost sword thing, and Claude seemed a bit jealous or at least curious about it.

As I hope up in the game, I noticed that I used up all of my action point for the day and had battle quest that was suppose to do with Flayn's brother but since I probably used my last action point thing to have another cooking lesson with Bernadette...so...oops I guess. I ended the exporlation day and the game notified me that it was Dedue's birthday and while pressing A to get to the monthly battle to see if that could help me remember what the heck was going on story wise, I accidentally invited Dedue for birthday tea. I wasn't upset by this tho', I find Dedue's character to be interesting and too bad that he's tied to Dimitri but when I play the Blue Lion route I'll probably interact with him more then, anyways I started the event but when I realize I didn't have the tea he liked I restarted the game and went down to the market to get some ginger tea ( since they didn't have the fancy fruit blend that he really liked)and the tea time turned out great,and I took a pic of him.

I could make a "Everybody gangasta until the avatar crosses his arms" joke but I can't come up with a clever twist soooo moving on...

On the  day of the battle I  was going to try to get some weapon upgrades but I quickly forgot that I spend my last few coins on ginger tea, so I started the battle with out upgrades and just hoped that any one who dies was suppose to anyways....

The scene starts out with Claude and I vibin' through the woods about to raid a castle fortress for a lance (I think) or the bad guys took the lance and we're trying to take it back, IDK. Somethin' about a lance is involved then a guy named Glibert yeeted out the woods, saying that he saw the lance before it was pretty impressive and a lot like the ghost I have (which is called the sword of the creator and NOT a ghost sword) it can be wielded by someone noble or non noble, Claude then comment saying that the only difference is that TSWOTC can only be held by me since if anyone else holds its MAD heavy in their hands, which is why he couldn't wield it when he jokingly offered to take it off my hands,,,,oof

(I thought that the first option said "I wanna hump your face" which pretty forward of Bythle but then I looked again, and was like "Oh no, its just my dyslexia playing tricks on me again")

The battle went pretty well, I had my unit stay close together since the main point of the was just to get to Sylvain's brother, I had Bythle and Claude stay close together (as usual), I wanted Igantz stay close to Raphle but he stay closer to Marianne and Lyth, while Ralph was closer to Bythle, Claude and Sylvian for most of the battle. Petra stay close to Glibert and Hilda, who all ended up being in the way back of the battlefeld. Lorzne ended up lagging behind to get an Armor Sword from a treasure chest, Hilda was with him for a while until I told her to go with Petra and them instead, which was also a fatal mistake for Lozern, since right after Hilda left some enemies started to come in from behind and the sides. I thought he was pretty much a goner, but he was able to handle himself pretty well, and took out the baddies by himself.  Gilbert died while fighting an enemy I didn't even told him to fight, so I had nothing to do with that. Things were going great in the battle until Slyvain's brother turned into a Dark Beast, and took out some of the party members, I was kind of confused on how to deal with this type of enemy, since it was the first time I dealt with this type of enemy in Fire Emblem (so I tried not to be to hard on myself when some of my teammates fell), but I managed to break the beast down and deal the final blow. So, it was all good in the hood in the end.

I gave the lance to Lady Rhea, who said the sword would turn me evil like did with Sylvain's brother because I'm the chosen one. Later, Flylan's brother came in saying that Flylan went missing and he was worried that she might be taken by a Dark Knight dude whose been going around town freakin' everybody out, Lady Rhea said that my job this month was to search for Flylan around the monstrosity. A mission which I gladly accepted I like Flylan's character alot, and hope nothing bad has happened to her. I end my playthrough today seeing an interaction between Hilda and Lorzen, Hilda wanted to Lorzen to protect her in battle since she's a just a "Fragile Women" who doesn't need to out there fighting with the big boys, Lorzen happily accepted Hilda's request to her delight, but TBH I think your boy just got played but as along as they're both happy and vibin' that's all that matters.

Long time not see, I've just been vibin and having quarter life crisis and existential crisis as per usual, during one of these crisis, I decided to hunt through Tumblr (that place is becoming more of my stomping ground than I would like it too) and stumbled arcoss the MADD/ID community, which stands for MalaDaptive Daydream and Immersive Daydreaming respectively. Maladaptive Daydream is where one is SO consumed by their daydreams it often hiders their real world life, its often describe as having daydreams that can span for hours upon hours at a time, which vivid detailed worlds, and characters kind of like a movie or a book, or a video game. Immersive Daydreaming is similar but the only difference is that this type of daydreaming is way more under control and it doesn't interfere with the dreamer's daily life and responsibilities. Arccording to one test I took (that was on Quotev, so it wasn't very scientific) I'm considered a Immersive Daydreamer, I've always had VERY detailed and vivid daydreams since I was at least in 2nd grade or at least thats the first time I remember having a vivid daydream. Like most immersive daydreamers I used have a whole world with characters who I would always make up adventures for whenever I was bored in class/wanted to somewhere else (which was most of my school day), and it did make school more tolerable and exciting in a way.

I would have theses type of daydreams well into high school, and it helped me feel less lonely then, nowadays I mostly just daydream to help me cope and sort through my fears, insecurities and anxieties.  While I still do daydream with the same vividness and intensity as always, most of them are like therapy sessions in my head (or at least what I think a therapy session would be like, I've never been to one) rather the fun long hour TV cartoon specials they used to be like. The therapy like daydreams have help me with my feelings and have gotten me to do more stuff like self-improvement and self care, I would like to just go back to daydreaming just for fun. I do have just for fun daydreams like when I'm reading a real good book, or watching a real good movie, or play a real good vidya then a fun daydream comes up, but other than that not really--like they aren't as connected as they were before when I was younger, it isn't always set in the same world or with the same characters like how  it was always before. 

And I really want to get back to that, I want to start daydreaming just for fun again, so I'm going to try to document my process of rediscovering my old daydream world, which is kind of hard since I never wrote any of the daydreams down because I had crappy handwriting when I was younger and I was super ashamed of it so I never saw the use in writing anything down that I wasn't told to do so by like a teacher or whatever. I'm going to try to at least digitally document the daydreams (via blog post like this ) I'm thinking of starting another side blog  either on here or tumblr for my daydream pursuits. I'll try not to get upset if the world that I used to daydream about when I was younger looks different than I remember or if I dont remember it right (which makes no sense since I was the only one how knew about how the world looked and worked and such) stuff natural change over time all the time in real life so, its no different. The only thing is that I never came up with a name for the world/town I used to dream about or at least I don't remember it all that much, but its fine its all good.

I was thinking about starting the daydreams out like I'm actually looking for the world/town I used to daydream about, like I start out in a completely different area/world apart  from the one I'm trying to get to and slowly as I remember little things like clues and distant memories.I get closer and closer to the old world/town, and I could take like a train, or a trolley , or a plane, or heck even a spaceship if I'm feeling really bold. It sounds kind of dumb and childish (but that's kind of my aesthetic if you hadn't noticed by now) and its better than wallowing in old sad memories that make my heart hurt so...yep...