Mood: (⌒▽⌒)☆content  

Currently typing this on: PC

Watching: Drag Race

Current Project: Tracie Hodge Lookbook Sim4 (about 75% complete ATOP)

Hunger status: 0 food consumed since last night

Current obsession: Neocities🌆 and coding👩‍💻

For the past two days, my sister and I've been getting ready for the local Jazz festival, and I'm actually more excited going to the jazz festival than Momocon, the local anime convention that happening around this time of year--same as the jazz fest. I usually like going to these types of events for people watching and just soaking up the atmosphere, and I feel like a lot of artist do the same thing. I kind of feel the same online-- on sites like Twitter and  Instagram, sometimes I do feel like posting anything but I just want to soak up the atmosphere. The thing though about the atompshere on Twitter--it's kind of stale since it's just bunch of the same people tweeting (but mostly retweeting ) the same things over and over again--it gets boring real quick. Also the atomphere of Twitter itself it's kind of "oof", and will make you feel "oof" if you stay on there for too long. I know it sound like I'm rambling a bunch but the thing I'm trying to get to is--- as a summer aspiration I would like to get out more, even if there's no big event  going on like Momocon or the Jazz festival. I just think it would be nice to get out more and experience stuff firsthand instead of second hand through the internet, and also since I've  been taking a break from Twitter I've finally gotten around to focusing what's most important and what I want from myself, and what makes me happy, instead of depending on  others' approval as a source of happiness.

Anyways, other than finally realizing how much social media doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things--I've been kind of eyeing my MMD folder and I just noticed how many models (that aren't food related) I have and I haven't really used any of them, which is kind of sad because they are well made, and deserve to be use. So, I've been thinking of  challenging myself to use all the models I have in at least one picture, not all together (because that's just going to be a big ol' mess and my PC will probably be begging for that sweet release of death) but just like going through each one of my models in my folder and seeing if I could use them in creative way. I don't know how long this is going to take but it should be fun tho'

Other than that the sims lookbook photoshop thing has been on hold since I've been trying to mental prepare myself for the jazz festival, I want to take a lot of sketches and that's just my main art focus right now, but after this I may just back into animating a bit, but  I'm young who knows like is long...

Status:

Mood: 🙃💭 awkwardly chill and nostalgic.                  

Currently typing this on: Phone 📲

Watching: a stream of fallout 4 playthrough with an anime girls mod

Current Project: Tracie Hodge Lookbook Sim4 (about 75% complete ATOP)

Hunger status: 0 food consumed since last night

Current obsession: Neocities🌆 and coding👩‍💻

Game status: Persona 5 still @ the first part of the 2nd palace ♥️🎭

Ever since I found out about Neocities, I've realized how uniform and boring modren social media is-- not to sound like r/borninthewronggen or r/technologyisbad but I've really began to realize how shallow and vapid most of social media is (noticed I didn't say all because there still some real ones out there being truly themselves)---espically light of the recently beauty community drama, (which was pretty petty to began with). The whole thing could have been resolved with the people involved settling their differences privately, but no-- it had to be a big deal, and the only reason why it was such a big deal is because people like those in the beauty who were involved with the drama felt the need to react publicly because social media forcings everyone to make everything that they do a big performance.

Like one of the citizens on Neocities said "most people on the internet nowadays--thanks to social media do stuff for likes rather than actual passion and being driven by the need to share--- just to share. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to share something on Twitter rather it be a silly random thing I thought was funny at the time, a like a piece of artwork, or a status on a current project i was working on. But, due to the fear of whatever I wanted to share not getting enough likes I just opted for retweeting an already popular tweet, instead which I'm pretty sure is the major reason why Twitter is having such a shortage of original tweet and an overstock of retweets. Half of the time I really want to delete my Twitter (just like I did with my DA) because it's starting to feel like a ball and chain now, but ive meet some really nice people on there and I don't want them to worry like I didn't something dramatic or anything. 

*Sigh*  I think I just need to pop in every one in a while maybe tweet or retweet something just to say "don't worry I'm still here" and I've been doing that, it's just when I do I just get caught in the trap of scrolling through my Twitter feed (and I realized that the way a person scrolls on their home page even if one just wants to look at one tweet you could still kind of see the top of the tweet which makes you kind of curious of what the other tweet has to say, so you keep scrolling and then the same thing happens over again.l, to make you stay longer..I mean I always know that every social media sites has a way of keeping the viewer on there---just never took the time to realize it before), and whenever I start scrolling I get this sickening feeling in my stomach that kind of feels like stomach ache or that feeling when your about to hurl.. it's really weird and it happens everytime I scroll through my feed for too long, and ever since I been taken a break from Twitter this feeling has gotten stronger to the point where I almost don't want to go on Twitter anymore.  I don't know, it's all just so weird--- and I know that when I do start my Neocities page it won't be easy, I have done any real coding since like junior year of high school, I'll probably get frustrated, most likely run into countless errors and blank pages--- but that moment when I finally get all my coding ducks in a row and I'm able to look back and have a cute functioning A E S T H T E I C site that made which my own two digital hands, it will be all worth it. Its kind of like making your veggie garden instead of going to do the groecy store a way--- it's hard, and you'll probably run into tons of problems due to your own lack of knowledge of managing a veggie garden, but that one moment when you finally did everything right and are finally able to cook a recipe using the vegetables you have made... nothing compares to that feeling---(at least I guess I never had a veggie before...)

But all what's been on my mind concerning the digital space, IRL I'm about to take my last class for the intermediate art class. I finally finished my last project it looks decent but I dont know if I fellow the rules right, this project had alot of measuring to do with it and my brain kind of turns off when *ugh* math is involved, but I still tried my best none the less. After this class I'll be taking a water color class, originally I wanted to take figure drawing class but those got pushed back to the fall to make room for more gardening classes. The teacher for the water color class was the one that taught the art foundations class I took in the winter earlier this year. I was hoping taking this water color class will help me understand how to use copic markers more effectively, since I have alot of those and they kind of work in the same way watercolors do (or at least I think so..) anyways I'll probably get something out of this class like I do with the others. Besides, that I'll be going to the local jazz festival in my town, I'm mostly going there for people watching and sketching (although I do like jazz), I just hope I have enough pages left in my sketch book, but I'll probably bring the sketchbook I used for my art class just in case, since I need an whole need sketchbook for the watercolor class. I'd otn really plan on eating or ( and especially) drinking anything when we get there because i would like to go through my life without once ever needing to use a porta-potty, and I can go pretty long without needing to eat any ways ,(as you can see by the status above) especially if there's art to be made/worked on...

But, yeah all I have to say for now, this  post came out to be way more blog-like then usual (complete with the classic status) I got the idea from reading some of Nestly's ( one of the ladies on Deviantart who mad that Neopets webcomic I was crazy about when I was a kid) old DA blog post, it's kind of calming reading it in a weird way (even knowing how her friendship with Centichi ended) that lead me to think 'hey if this girl can share her 19 year old thoughts on the goings on of 2006, I can share my 20 year old thoughts of the current year). Okay, so I've pretty much ran out of things to talk about until next time

Later days~

  On one of my many adventures on the internet I made discovery, If you read my last post I've recently played Hyponspace Outlaw, a game set in the late 1990's with websites in the same vain of Geocites. Obivously, because of my love for anything and everything aesthetic especially when the 90's and early 2000s are involved, and it made me miss the early days of the internet were people made and ran their websites, where everyone on the internet had their own little space to talk about whatever passion burns bright in their heart no caring if it were popular or not (or like it just because it was popular). Even though, I only ran into a few of these sites before they went extinct when I was young, it was still fun to kind of re-live those days with a more mature mind even if it was a simulation. But I'm happy to announce that found exactly what I was looking for in a place called "Neocities"....

I found out about Neocities through a youtube video showcasing a person who had a Neocities, and the way the person built their site it look so A E S T H E T I C like straight outta 1999! JUST LIKE IN HYPNOSPACE! After the video I went straight to google and looked up. That was my begging of my journey through Neocities, which was an experience that I can't really put into to words but if I had  to it was like I was going back in time. 

It was so wonderful, each site on Neocities was different from the last it was like I was hopping through different dimension, and even though people had similar interest they expressed it in different ways! Man...it was just awesome... 

The pixel art, the list pages, the fave pages, the shrines, the midi music...its stuff like that you usually don't see on the internet nowadays...

I found funny about Neocities was that alot people on there were around my age (19-20) and they also have been around the internet trying to find their place, but they've seemed to have found it on Neocities. Another cool thing, its that most of the citizens on their had made a Neocities because they were tired of the same old boring modern social media, and wanted something completely their own--to express themselves, some even see having their own site as a form of rebellion against the cold, same-y, modern soical media internet. There is even a whole group called "Our Space"for  that exact cause...

See all these creatives come together to make their on space on the web that's completely their own has inspired me to do the same! Now, I'm not going to abandon this blog I already have-- it means way too much to me, and spent way too much time in making it look good, I'm going to to this have this blog as --- a well a blog--- but have my Neocities page as more of a artistic project in coding more than anything...

So, yeah that's all I wanted to share with you right now, before I hop into making a Neocite page I got to finish my sims look book first because I'm so close to finishing it...

until next time...

I made a comic book shop in the sims took me 3-4 days and I have to say that I'm pretty proud of it, you can check it out on my Sims blog:

(Just a heads up: If you even think about playing this game you DEFINITELY SHOULD, Hypnospace is one of those games that is best experienced rather than watched, espically if you have the slightest interest in aesthetics, early internet, nostalgia, shady business practices, sub cultures, online communities, weirdos on the internet--- if you have any interest in interest in the internet at all then you should play this game. I wouldn't be necessarily review the game because I think its really good 10/10 will probably play again, I'll just be giving my overall and opinions on this game). Here's a link:

So, recently it was my birthday (I'm 20 now, yay) and one of the games I got for my day of birth was Hyynospace Outlaw, I heard about this game through one of the lets players I watch from time to time, and as soon as I saw the AESTHETICS and that it was click and point game, and set in 1999 (the year of my birth) I just knew I had to play for myself!

Like I said before, Hypnospace Outlaw is a point and click adventure game where play the role of a mod for a internet software, your job is to make sure everything is running smoothly in the virtual realm, you start by doing some copyright claim stuff pretty mundy but soon things start to escalate and then you realize that maybe wearing a hand band that beam the internet into your head night while you sleep may not be such a good idea...

That's as much story as I'm willing to go into because I really do think this game is best play at your pace preferably at night in a dark room, with a little of vaporwave/city funk playing the background.

While playing this game I start to kind of iminge me having my own page in the Hypnospace, (Which is what I'm actually going to do after I finish this post) what it would look like, what stuff I would put on there, how I would talk about myself. When looking around the account pages on Hypnospace it really made me think "People don't really do stuff like this on the internet nowadays"--- like you don't have people putting up internet tips souly because they want to help people, or posting scary stories they made because a small group of their friends liked it and wanted more. Nowadays, if you find someone offering internet tips and secrets said person wants to be the most famous person for giving internet tips even if they're not useful (or useless crafting idea *cough* Troom Troom, 5 min crafts *cough*) and if someone tells good scary stories they just don't want their friends to know about, they want the whole internet to know about it. I think the team did a good job capture the curiosity and naivety of early internet users

What I liked about Hypnospace it gave me a look into not only early internet but a look into how I thought the internet was going to be like various small groups of people getting to know each other, truly being themselves--not trying to be like a character (most of them at least) , sharing their interests (but not letting that define them as a whole person) sharing stories, sharing their talent not for fame or money, but mostly because they just like helping others and making them happy..

I liked how everyone in Hyponspace felt like a real person that you would care about, feel happy for when something good happened to them and feel bad when something awful happened to them, how each user of Hyponspace was difference than the other (which I even think is hard to find on the internet nowadays)...

I don't want this post to be like r/techologyisbad, I still like the internet, and know there still people out there how lovethe  things they love and are truly themselves about it-- caring less if  it pleases the algorithm or not (it's just that I think those people get drowned out by others who merely seek attention and praise just for liking something) , I'm just saying that hypnospace helped showed me what I thought the internet would be like and how it can never truly be like that again, too much has changed. While I'm sadden a little bit because I feel like I missed out on something that could have never be a part of, this game helped me come to terms with it. 

And that is why it will always hold a special place in my heart 

So,  I recently gave my inactive Sim blog a makeover, there's not much on there just yet, but I'm currently in the middle of writing a story about Strangetown from the Sims 2, I'll be also posting a post about it on here once  it's done. Even though the blog's pretty bare of brand new content feel free to take a look around... (linked below)