As I've  been thinking about if any of my comics or my blog will get big someday.  I look at other internet people around my age who have they're own fans and fandom, Who make them fanart and the like, who loves their characters as much as the creator does, gets excited when the creator makes new content, or announces a new project. Sometime I get jealous of the attention they get, it used to be much worse when I was younger. When I was younger, alot people were making ask blogs of their OCs and or ask blogs of they're favorite canon characters. I tried to start on ask blog based on a comic that was about some of OCs living in the same house as one of my favorite characters from an anime I used to watch. Looking back at the comic was cringey AF, the canon character was trying to be a youtuber, and I tried to stylize the comic in vloger-type style. That just consisted of him stand in the place basically waving his hands.  I had him have a small romance with my self-insert OC, and UGH it was just big mess, thankfully it didn't get alot of views on DA.  At the time, I was really upset at, and chalked up me not getting a follow to my art skill sucking (which may or may not  have been true), but I was kind of devastated by it, I was really passionate about the comic, I had a few ideas, and even changed the comic a bit.

Rather than having 3 OCs and one canon character, I changed it where I only had one OC (which was my self insert ugh) who the next door neighbor instead of the roommate. I focused it more on the canon character and his brother just have slice of life comic. Which I was a little better than the first rendition, but this I didn't get any view. I was again hurt and that was right then and there I took a break from drawing for a while to think, (and have a crawling in my crawl moment about my art skills). Soon, I realized that it wasn't really my art skill it was the fact I was doing this art to get attention from others than doing it for myself.  I was hoping I could get some attention from my fan work and then transfer over that attention once I work on something original. Which for anyone whose been on the internet for a while, know that it RARELY ever works out that way for anyone. So, even if I did get a following for my fan work I would probably still end up being hurt in the end anyways, and probably even worse. 

But enough ramble , What I was trying to say was that I now think of the internet (any platform on the internet where people share their work with others) as a stage. Everyone has their own stage, with their own theater and they can do anything they wish on that stage. People can come by and watch (even if it's just one person).   Everyone wishes to have a large audience, so they can share their stories and show off their skills. Especially, the people who first start out and get their stage by being inspired from watching others succeed in their skills and ability to bring in audience.   The newbie is excited to show off their skills, they put all this work into their first show and....barely nobody comes or they only bring in a few spectators. The Newbie's discourage and leaves the stage feeling a little defeated.  He really hoping for a big turn out, they looks back at his perform (because recorded it) and it seemed that they mess up few times here and there it was kind of embarrassing.

Still feeling down the newbie goes to watch one of their faves performs, as they watch the room fill out with people. They grows a little bit jealous at the outcome, but they keeps it so they can enjoy the show. As the show goes on, he can hear some people being very rude to the performer calling them names, saying dirty sexual stuff, and down right leaving.  The show ends and the newbie thinks about if that was them up on the stage if they could handle the criticism and nasty comments. The Newbie goes to visit another perform he hasn't seen it a while. It seems like they haven't done a performance in a while since the theaters closed , the newbie could see people banging on the door and shouting "when are we going to see something new? are you dead or something? Dude, did you hear I think they died in accident? Whatever I never liked their work anyways? I bet they just lazy and gave up!" It turns out that this performer was just out for a while visiting their mother in the hospital. The Newbie finally return back to their domain still empty and hollow. They sit thinking about what they seen today, it was strange how they never known about this stuff before. The Newbie thinks  they couldn't probably handle all of that negative attention early their "career" ,  they start to worry about their skills, and think about giving up.

When they hear a person footsteps coming into the room.  The person tells the newbie they saw their show earlier and really liked it, they liked how genuine and real they were with their performance and how much they're looking forward to see more. This fills the newbie with some hope that they actually have a chance in this world, they maybe not be so good right now, but this probably the best time to make mistake since no one really mean-spirited is watching. They can make all the mistake they want and  they no one belittle them for it. The newbie perform for how long they want and when they want with out fearing that others  will hound them looking for an answer. The newbie thinks probably by the time, they get a real following they'll actually be ready for it.

Phew, sorry I just told a personal story and allegory (hey that rhymed!). What I'm basically saying is that over the few years I've been on the web and seen others come and go, rise and fall. I've learn that this is the best time for me to make mistake I shouldn't worry about being perfect or making art or a comic on time or a certain type of schedule (for the time being). I hope I can make characters people can relate to and fall in love with (not literally). I have also seen others that get a huge following suddenly either due doing something viral or being part of a people fandom. Usually, when the person tries to deviate from their content that got them so popular (which is very rarely what they'er actually passionate about) people leave in droves. In my opinion that's the worst way of being coming famous on the internet. You just end up chasing the same taste of fame.

Well, that's all I want to talk about for now since it was just something on my mind, and I've been thinking about it for a while ever since I started working on the Girls Of NostoNeo(which the page should be up soon) and having this blog.